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Doing nothing might feel good but it won’t make you happy

The reactionary view that happiness is more achievable without the entanglements of emotional connection is sadly misguided.

Doing nothing might feel good but it won’t make you happy
[Source photo: Westend61/Getty Images]

Are you tired of feeling tired? Have you had enough of compromising your own peace of mind trying to meet the expectations of others? Are you finished with dwelling on the past, vexing over the future, and measuring your current success against the perceived success of others?

If so, you might be ready to embrace tanping, a growing movement that took root in China, spread quickly through Asia, and is now finding adherents in the West. Based in Zen Buddhism, tanping encourages us to find contentment in the present moment through material and psychological minimalism, reveling in simple pleasures, shedding the clutter of unneeded possessions, and slowing down the pace of our lives.

Tanping offers a welcome relief from the relentless pressure to acquire and expand, as well as the ceaseless drive to attract attention and come out on top. The philosophy calls on us to reevaluate our priorities by focusing on goals and ideals that will provide us with enduring happiness rather than the periodic dopamine rush of physical and ego gratification. How could it be anything other than positive?

And so it is. Except for one thing: the name. That’s why the popular translation of tanping is this week’s entry into the Ethical Lexicon:

Lying Flatism

The countercultural ideology that advocates for embracing minimalism, simplicity, and contentment in everyday life.

There are plenty of established philosophies and outlooks that preach the same values: stoicism, moderation, temperance, self-discipline, and austerity, to name a few. Lying Flatism urges reducing the hours and energy invested in the daily grind as a means of achieving inner harmony and tranquility. That explains why leaders in China view it as a profound threat to their country’s vision of technological world domination.

But perhaps the most curious and disturbing aspect of the new Flatist movement is this: the notion that emotional intimacy and commitment are simply not worth the effort.

NEEDING CONNECTIONS

It’s certainly true that social and family pressure to find a romantic partner or mate can lead to frustration, alienation, and a sense of inadequacy.  Moreover, choosing the wrong partner for the wrong reasons can bury us in stress and conflict while unraveling our lives.

But the reactionary view that happiness is more achievable without the entanglements of emotional connection is sadly misguided. Human beings are wired for relationships and, especially, for intimacy. Indeed, the idea of constructing an emotionally protected life by withdrawing from interpersonal closeness was parodied by the iconic musical poet Paul Simon over half a century ago in his satirical ballad I am a Rock:

Don’t talk of love

Well I’ve heard the word before

It’s sleeping in my memory

I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died

If I never loved I never would have cried

I am a rock I am an island

Hiding in my room safe within my womb

I touch no one and no one touches me

I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain

And an island never cries

So what has caused this resurgence in the discredited ideology of emotional isolation? We might surmise that rising cynicism toward personal relationships is a spillover from the dysfunction prevalent in our professional lives and in the workplace.

When bosses promote a work environment where workers feel unappreciated, where creativity and initiative are discouraged or suppressed, where advancement is linked to factors other than merit, and where short-term financial benchmarks are valued over long-term vision and purpose, it’s only natural that employees will grow to resent the demands of their jobs and become suspicious of others’ motives. The more transactional our interactions become on the job, the more likely we are to see every personal exchange through the microscope of cost-benefit analysis.

And that is tragic. Partnership, whether personal or professional, is one of the most fulfilling wonders of the human condition. Combining complementary talents and skills, cooperating in pursuit of common goals, relinquishing immediate visceral pleasures to attain more enduring rewards, creating a collective enterprise that is greater than the sum of its parts—these are the elements that coalesce into genuine happiness.

DEFINING ENLIGHTENED LEADERSHIP

One approach toward addressing the problem may be to formulate a clear operating definition of enlightened and inspired leadership. Studying history’s most noteworthy successes, I might propose the following prescription:

Leadership is enabling and empowering one’s people to fulfill their own potential in a way that benefits their organization and the world. When employees feel fulfilled in their work in a way that integrates with their work relationships, they will naturally put more effort into their personal relationships as well.

It is an axiom of the Ethical Lexicon that words matter, that—as Orwell observed—the way we speak influences the way we think. Ultimately, the very name Lying Flatism is self-defeating. It implies a concession to inertia, to passivity, lethargy, and acceptance of the status quo. When Robert Redford says in The Candidate that he’s happy with his life, Peter Boyle replies, “You’re happy? Clams are happy. What have you accomplished?”

The truth is that clams may be content, but they certainly aren’t happy. Why not? Because they accomplish nothing. Removing stress and clutter from our lives can be truly liberating. But liberty is a resource, not a goal. If we don’t use it purposefully, it leaves us empty and disappointed in ourselves.

Amidst the halls of traditional Jewish study, you will frequently hear the Yiddish word shteig. Colloquially, it means to grow, exert effort, move forward, and gain ground—not materially, but intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. The literal meaning, however, is climb. That’s what we are in this world to do: to push ourselves perpetually onward and upward.

It’s the responsibility of leaders to inspire their people to climb, personally and professionally. It’s the responsibility of followers to seek and find inspiration, to invest in visionary goals, to seek meaningful and fulfilling partnerships. Lying flat is a fine strategy for clams. The human soul achieves happiness only when it aspires to much, much more.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Yonason Goldson works with business leaders to build a culture of ethics that earns trust, sparks initiative, and limits liability. He is host of the podcast Grappling with the Gray, and author of the book by the same name. More

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