The following seven phrases destroy trust and should be eliminated from any manager’s vocabulary:

1. I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

On the surface, this may seem like a caring statement. After all, it contains the seemingly supportive words “feel” and “I’m sorry.”

If someone on your staff feels badly, probe: Find the issue that’s upsetting them, discuss it, and resolve anything that has created distress. That will lead to a more positive outcome.

2. I DIDN’T SAY THAT.

Someone may be calling you out for something you said. But, using this expression is divisive; it polarizes you and the employee.

Whether they are right or wrong, it’s best not to go head-to-head with them and discount what they remember your saying. Instead, build a bridge. Say, “Can you please elaborate?” Achieve consensus about what was said, as in, “Yes, I want you to be involved with this high-profile project. We are still waiting for that decision.” Once you have a shared understanding, work toward a resolution: “I will let you know when it moves forward.”

3. IT’S COMPANY POLICY.

This expression is the kiss of death for any boss. It’s a turnoff, because it suggests you as a boss take issue with the corporation’s policies and don’t represent the leadership of the company.

4. I KNOW WE PROMISED THIS TO YOU, BUT . . .

This expression can be unsettling to an employee, but there are circumstances that do change, and they must be handled with more delicacy.

In those rare situations when something that’s been promised by you is no longer possible (e.g., a salary increase is not going ahead because all wages have been frozen), explain that the company had to make a tough decision, and unfortunately it affects everyone. But show you have the employee’s back. Say you will keep the employee’s pay increase “on your radar” and let them know when wages are no longer frozen.

5. SORRY, I CHANGED MY MIND.

A boss who uses this expression will never earn the trust of employees. Your word should be sacred. When you say something, you must follow through.

Suppose you’ve promised a staff member that you’ll support them in applying for a new role. But, you switch your position on this, realizing another candidate will be better. No employee will ever believe or trust a boss who switches positions on them. The simple way to earn trust is to follow through with any commitments you make. Changing your mind when the decision matters to the employee will create a fractured relationship and disengagement.

6. I NEED YOU IN THIS ROLE.

I need you in this role (e.g., “I’m not going to promote you”) is something a manager should never say.

I know a director who gave up a promotion into another department because her manager said “I need you in this role,” and “I don’t want to lose you.” Ten years later, she is still in that same role and can’t be very happy about the choice she was encouraged to make. Managers should see that moving their team members to higher ground not only is good for the team member, but speaks well of the manager and their leadership.

7. COPY ME ON EVERYTHING.

A manager who asks to be copied on emails is sending a message of distrust.

If you want to be copied on the correspondence, it’s either that you don’t trust the judgment of your employee and feel you may have to step in, or, you don’t believe the employee has credibility in the chain of command (and you feel your name carries more weight!) Either situation means that you are undercutting your employee.

Instead, ask your employee to “keep me posted on how things are going” and “let me know if at any point you need my support. I am here for you.” Giving your team members the understanding that you are confident they can handle a project will instill self-confidence in them and devotion to you.