Q: How can I say no at work without feeling guilty?

A: Hello, fellow people pleaser! I understand your uneasiness. From preschool on, we are taught to follow directions; and saying no at work—especially to your boss—can feel extra fraught.

But let’s start with these reminders:

1. Saying no doesn’t make you lazy or difficult.
2. Saying no to the things that aren’t the best use of your time frees you up to do the things that are important. (Think “office housework” versus “promotable tasks.”)
3. Saying no is a way to set healthy boundaries so you don’t end up feeling burned out and being unhappy in life and less productive at work.

Now that you know why it’s okay to say no at work—and that it’s sometimes even preferable—let’s address how to say no at work.

While it might be more nerve-wracking to say no to your boss versus a coworker, the approach and consideration can be similar. Still, when saying no to your boss, you might need to give a little more explanation.

For example, if a colleague in another department asks you to put together a detailed spreadsheet of the past six months of sales data, you can explain that you don’t have the time to do that because of your workload. You might then suggest someone who would be a better fit for taking on the task.

But if your boss asks you to do the same time-sucking task, you can still say no while also explaining the consequences of saying yes. Start by acknowledging why they need the task done. Then point out how it might impact your ability to work on other more important projects. The subtext here: You don’t want to waste me on this task when I could be doing more for you. Then suggest a better approach. (Can the task be automated or delegated to someone else?)

The same approach works for other asks, too, such as meetings you don’t need to attend. Point out your other workload and suggest a compromise, like weekly—instead of daily—meetings or Slack updates.