Recently, my friend Scott asked me out of the blue:  Is there anyone you idolize?

I answered that I’d have to think about it. Scott followed up with, “What about Abraham Lincoln?” That’s when I realized I had misunderstood his question.  I thought he had meant, Is there anyone you idolize alive today?

With all of history open before me, the question was easier:  Of course, Lincoln, I said. Also, George Washington, Harry Truman, and Rosa Parks. Going back further, I invoked King David and the illustrious sage Rabbi Akiva.

“What about Churchill?” Scott asked.

“Churchill was complicated,” I replied.  He is certainly one of my heroes, possibly the single most influential figure in preventing Hitler from establishing the Third Reich as the thousand-year empire he imagined it would become.  But Churchill was also crass, coarse, and personally self-indulgent.  Not someone, I explained, worthy of idolization.

Scott pushed back: “Does a person have to be perfect to be worthy of being idolized?”

And that’s how we arrive at this week’s entry into the Ethical Lexicon:

Idolize (i·dol·​ize/ ahyd-l-ahyz) verb

To love or admire in the extreme

To worship as a god

According to the most literal definition, an idol is a graven image representing a higher power, typically a false god of the worshipper’s own imagination.  In more contemporary usage, idols are celebrities—film stars, models, sports figures—who elicit godlike devotion from their fans and acolytes.  More often than not, these deified personalities lack any intrinsic qualities beyond physical beauty, athletic prowess, or charismatic personality.  Clearly, we can find more deserving objects for idolization.

What about intellectuals who articulate deep thoughts and moral values?  Conservatives may worship such personalities as Jordan Peterson, Thomas Sowell, and Abigail Shrier.  Liberals might bow their heads to Van Jones, Sam Harris, and Bob Woodward.  Do these thinkers and influencers merit idolization?  And if they do, should executive celebrities like Jamie Dimon, Bill Gates, and Elon Musk be counted among their ranks as well?

Consider the two definitions of idolize:

1) To love or admire in the extreme: If we aspire to fully realize our personal potential, we need larger-than-life figures to look up to, to emulate, to find inspiration in their greatness so we can draw upon our own hidden talents and achieve greatness in our own way. Simply recognizing exceptional individuals who have transcended the apparent limits of human achievement—whether in politics, business, competitive sports, or the arts—shows us that we can look beyond the limits placed upon us by our peers, by society, or by ourselves.

2) To worship as a god: Conversely, we court disaster by turning the objects of our admiration into deities or comic book superheroes. From King David to Winston Churchill, the luminaries of history all had human shortcomings to accompany their extraordinary accomplishments. Indeed, the true inspiration of their stories resides in how they overcame both internal and external challenges to earn mythic status.

Consequently, there are two ways we can err when assessing the stature of heroes: The first is to invalidate their accomplishments by fixating on their flaws; the second is to dismiss their flaws as we marvel at their achievements. Conquering our lesser angels to achieve superhuman feats is the quintessence of being fully human.

Perhaps that’s why we have so much trouble finding people today genuinely worthy of veneration or even adoration. On the one hand, unrealistic expectations drive us to relentlessly seek out the slightest flaws. If we look long and hard enough, we inevitably find them, after which we summarily dismiss all the greatness that should overshadow those few dark blemishes. On the other hand, once we invest in admiration, we choose to ignore the obvious faults, transforming heroes into caricatures.

That these two contradictory mindsets coexist in our culture is both puzzling and deeply concerning. We tear down real heroes and erect false idols in their place.  By doing so, we cheat ourselves out of the inspiration that can drive us toward real success.

How many CEOs or presumed wunderkind seemed to be rocketing skyward only to plummet to Earth, like Icarus flying too close to the sun? Sam Bankman-Fried, Elizabeth Holmes, Ken Lay, John DeLorean . . . and let’s throw in Bernie Madoff for good measure.  How many people ignored the obvious warning signs because the illusion of exceptionalism was too attractive to question? And how many humble heroes go unnoticed because we aren’t looking for them in the right places?

It’s not hard to identify leaders who deserve our followership. They are the ones who demonstrate transparency, vulnerability, empathy, humility, and grit in everything they do. They don’t need to trumpet their successes because their reputations speak for themselves. They don’t need to compensate for their shortcomings because struggling with shortcomings has made them who they are.

When contemplating which luminaries are worthy of idolization, identify the noble qualities and real accomplishments while simultaneously acknowledging their faults and flaws. Then focus on the virtues you can strive to develop in your own life’s work, seeking inspiration from the greatness that resides in heroic struggle so that you can become a source of inspiration yourself.