Ever do something because you thought it would look good on your résumé? You may have taken a job because you wanted to work at a specific company. Perhaps you agreed to serve on the board of a charitable organization or signed up for a class or pursued a certification.

While experience is essential, don’t underestimate the impact building relationships can have on your career.

“I’m not saying that résumés don’t have a place and a seat at the table, but they’re in the cheaper seats—more than people have been led to believe,” says Thom Mayer, author of Leadership Is Worthless…But Leading is Priceless: What I Learned from 9/11, the NFL, and Ukraine. “It’s the relationships that matter.”

Every Relationship Matters

Résumés may provide someone’s background, but they don’t reveal the person behind the titles. You can only understand someone’s character by having a relationship with them. As NFL Players Association medical director, Mayer visits team training camps. He refers to a sign in the Denver Broncos locker room that says, “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”

“You cannot get out of that locker room without passing through there,” says Mayer. “The quote came from German philosopher Wolfgang Goethe. Coach Gary Kubiak, who was [Broncos] head coach, hung it because it was something his dad used to tell him.”

The quote underscores an important element of relationships: There is no unimportant member of a team, and anyone you come into contact with deserves your attention. This is a philosophy Mayer has held since he was a student and football player in college. Originally a theology major, he switched to pre-med after an advisor suggested that he could have a more significant impact as a doctor instead of a theologian. However, Mayer began to doubt the decision during his first Chemistry 101 test. Not knowing the answers, he filled the boxes with the pattern ABCDE, EDCBA, back and forth.

A bonus question at the end of the test said, “If you get this question right, you get an A on this test, no matter how well you did on the first 100 questions.” The question was, “What is the name of the man who cleans this room every night so you can have a great place to learn?” Mayer approached the professor and asked, “Do you want his first or last name?”

“He was stunned and said, ‘If you can give me his first name and his last name, I’ll not only give you an A in this test, I’ll give you an A in this course, as long as you show up and work hard,’” says Mayer. “I said, ‘What if I can give his wife’s name and the names and ages of his six children?’ He stood up and he said, ‘Thom, if you can do that, I’ll not only give you an A in this course, I’ll give you an A in every chemistry course you take, as long as you show up and work hard.’”

Mayer had gotten to know the janitor, Roosevelt Richmond, because he could only get to the chemistry lab after football practice when Richmond started his shift. “When people ask, ‘How did you become a doctor?’ I worked hard, but I became a doctor because I built relationships,” he says.

When Mayer interviews someone for a job, he asks two questions: What is the nurse’s facial expression when they see your name on the schedule? What is the name of the Environmental Services person in charge of your emergency departments?

“If they can’t handle both of those questions, then I don’t want them taking care of me or my family when they desperately need it,” he says.

Relationships Build Trust

Relationships also open doors. For example, Mayer says he wasn’t chosen to become the first medical director for the NFL Players Association because he was an accomplished ER doctor. Mayer got the call because of his relationship with Gene Upshaw, then executive director for the NFLPA. He called Mayer after Korey Stringer, an offensive tackle for the Vikings, died of heat stroke during practice in 2001.

“He said, ‘Doc, you’ve got to step up to the plate and become our medical director,’” says Mayer. They’d never had one before. Gene didn’t call me because of my résumé. He could have pulled up a bunch of doctors and looked at their résumés. [Upshaw] called me because we were best friends—because his youngest and my youngest were best friends. He called me because he trusted me.”

Relationships begin with everyday actions. It’s as simple as greeting people you encounter. Relationships are also cultivated with positive dialogue. For example, instead of walking up to a teammate or employee and saying, “Hey, did you get that assignment done?” Mayer recommends saying, “Hey, how are you doing? Anything I can do to help you?”

At the end of the day, relationships impact the opportunities you’re offered, the help you get at work, and the way you’re treated by those around you.

“See how long somebody wants to stay in an environment when it’s all transactional and not about the person behind the transaction,” says Mayer. “When times are hard, you want to know who you can depend on. The type of person you prove that you are, such as being loyal or having integrity, shows up in your relationships.”