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How to finally go on a guilt-free vacation

If you’ve been working during PTO, you’re not alone. But it can mean returning to the office more drained than ever. Here’s how to fight that temptation.

How to finally go on a guilt-free vacation
[Source photo: Thomas Barwick/Getty Images]

If your upcoming vacation also includes a guilt trip for leaving the office behind, you’re not alone. According to a survey from communications and growth firm Movchan Agency, 47% of people feel guilty if they don’t work on vacation, 63% feel anxious about not checking email, and 59% struggle to switch off while away.

Instead of ruining your time off, reframe the vacation guilt you feel about leaving, suggests Jeanie Y. Chang, licensed therapist and author of How K-Dramas Can Transform Your Life: Powerful Lessons on Belongingness, Healing, and Mental Health.

“Yes, we feel [guilt] because we are busy and have demanding jobs and responsibilities,” she says. “However, we also need the time off to rest and relax to actually do our jobs and responsibilities. We need this escape not to run away from our busy lives but to live our best lives.”

Jim Frawley, CEO of the executive development firm Bellwether, says if you feel guilty, ask yourself where it stems from. “Is this a question of remaining relevant? Of being forgotten?” he asks. “We have a desire to be useful and relevant, and with work being such a large part of our identity, the challenge is losing an important aspect of who we think we are in relation to work. Recognize that the value we bring gets increased with time away. . . . We get to see the forest from the trees on time away.”

Longer breaks are vital for your well-being. Here is how to leave work—and guilt—behind.

BEFORE YOU LEAVE

Switching off and minimizing vacation guilt will be easier if you properly prepare. Jenna Rogers, founder of the workplace communications training firm Career Civility, suggests creating a working document that you can share with colleagues and clients.

“Include the dates you will be out, the projects currently in flight, any potential due dates, as well as any outstanding tasks and who owns them,” she says. “By creating a working document, it communicates transparency and accountability while you are out.”

While you may be counting down the days until you leave, your colleagues aren’t. Communicate your vacation timeline early and often. Rogers recommends including your upcoming out-of-office dates to your email signature and concluding every meeting with a reminder about the upcoming dates.

“In action, it can look like this: ‘Hey all, before we wrap today’s meeting, just a reminder that I will out of the office all of next week. Please refer to the working document I created as the source of truth while I am out,’” she says.

When you let colleagues know that you’ll be gone, also let them know you won’t be checking email, recommends Leslie Forde, CEO of Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, which helps organizations promote wellness for parents. “Schedule your out-of-office [message] to include ‘I will not be checking messages while I’m away’ and provide a point of contact for anything time sensitive while you’re out,” she says.

Finally, make sure you delegate all of the most important tasks and finish as many urgent tasks as possible before leaving, says Justina Raskauskiene, human resource team lead at Omnisend, a marketing automation platform. “Remember, that nobody should disturb you while you are having your time off,” she says.

WHILE YOU’RE GONE

When you’re on vacation, create some ground rules for yourself, says Chang. “Perhaps, you can decide to check emails but not read them,” she says. “It may relieve your stress to know what things look like upon your return. This may help you enjoy your vacation more because you’re not left wondering what if?”

However, if you do check emails, Chang recommends not sharing it with coworkers. “They don’t need to know that,” she says.

Resist temptation by deleting all work-related apps from your phone and disconnect from your email, suggests Raskauskiene. “You will prevent yourself from checking the notifications and this will help to stay in the moment,” she says.

Truly relaxing may be easier if you ask a trusted colleague to call or text you for any urgent matters, says Forde. Be sure to define what urgent means to you. For example, if you’re the lead on a dynamic project and something threatens the deadline or there’s a concern that can only be addressed by you, let them know it’s okay to call or text.

“By outlining a process for urgent requests, you no longer feel the need to check messages or skim them while you’re away,” says Forde. “It’s difficult to read messages without feeling the need to track, manage, or think about your response, even if you’re not responding until later.”

WHEN YOU GET BACK

One of the reasons people work on vacation is to avoid returning to an overflowing inbox and requests for your time. Before you leave, Forde recommends preparing for your reentry.

“In advance, block your calendar for your first day or two back from vacation, to handle catching up with your messages, and navigating deep work and planning before resuming your normal meeting schedule,” she says.

Or take a radical approach and clear your inbox, starting fresh, suggests Frawley. “If you come back from vacation and see 1,000 emails, delete them all,” he says. “Don’t even look. If there is something pressing that still needs addressing, they will follow up with you. Most times other people recognize you are out and go elsewhere to find what they need.”

The truth is that work will get along and evolve without you, says Frawley. “If we separate ourselves from our work product, which we should, we are able to let the work go,” he says. “Give the people around you the credit they deserve. They are capable people who will push your agenda for you.”

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