Nearly 40% of U.S. employees don’t trust their coworkers, according to a study from BetterUp. While you don’t have to be friends with everyone at the office, you don’t necessarily want to enemies either.

If you consider these people frenemies, it’s possible to maintain a civil relationship with them without letting down your guard.

DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Approaching a frenemy requires understanding the context. Moshe Cohen, who teaches leadership, negotiation, organizational behavior and mediation at Boston University’s Questrom School of Business, suggests asking yourself a few questions.

“Where do you need or help each other?” he asks. “Where do you get in each other’s way? Who does each of you report to, and what other relationships impact your interactions? What are your goals, and what are the other person’s? What is your history with each other, and what makes you frenemies to begin with?”

Once you understand your relationship and how it got to the frenemy stage, you’ll be better equipped to establish your working boundaries.

CONSIDER THEIR PERSONALITY

It’s also vital to uncover what makes your frenemy tick. Richard Davis, organizational psychologist and author of Good Judgment: Making Better Business Decisions with the Science of Human Personality, suggests using an approach he calls the “personality blueprint.”

“By definition, our evaluation of frenemies involves emotions at some level,” he says. “Anytime we have an emotional connection, biases creep in. Evaluating personality is a scientifically based method that removes the subjective emotional biases and creates a more objective portrait of the person.”

Describe the person in these five categories:

• Intellect: How do they think? Are they smart? Deep or shallow thinker? Curious or concrete?
• Emotionality: How do they express emotions? Are they moody or even keeled? Warm or cold? Angry or optimistic by nature?
• Sociability: How do they engage with others? Are they charming or standoffish? Engaging or aloof? Communicative or quiet?
• Drive: Why do they do what they do? What motivates them? Are they ambitious and competitive or laissez-faire and cooperative?
• Diligence: How do they get stuff done? Are they structured or spontaneous? Diligent or lazy? Perfectionistic or flexible?

“Once you have a clear, objective assessment of the person, you can create a tailored approach to addressing your frenemy,” says Davis.”

For example, you might decide that their competitive behavior is driven by being passed over for promotions in the past. Or their standoffishness is a personality trait they demonstrate with everyone and not just you.

“The point is to use their stable traits as a roadmap for navigating the relationship,” says Davis.

BE UPFRONT

Once you understand the other person, decide if you want to have a frank conversation about your relationship, says Dr. Daniel Boscaljon, executive coach and founder of the Healthy Relationship Academy, workplace culture consultants.

“Often, these relationships are caused by poor communication, where both people are mistrustful of each other,” he says. “If the person seems to lack relationship skills, take the lead, but don’t expect too much too soon. Think of yourself as a mentor and show how acting with integrity and treating others well is the long-term strategy for success in a workplace environment.”

Conversations with frenemies can be vulnerable and empathetic, but they should still be direct and firm, adds Ryan Joseph Kopyar, a licensed counselor and author of Big Boys Do Cry: A Man’s Guide to Navigating Emotions and Showing Up More Vulnerable in Relationships.

“They provide clarity for both parties on boundaries, hopes and expectations, while at the same time fostering a healthy, respectful work relationship,” he says. “Having conversations like this could help the frenemy turn into a true friend, but at the very least, it should help to set healthy boundaries with your fellow colleagues.”

PROTECT YOURSELF

Be careful what you say during the conversation, cautions Cohen, author of Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous. “There might be a chance that they will misuse your words,” he says. “If it’s clear that your frenemy is not to be trusted, protect yourself by strengthening your relationships with others, especially people who impact both of you.”

Boscaljon concurs: “Listen to your gut sense about them,” he says. “If you feel like someone is not fully trustworthy, it’s important to not fully trust them.”

OWN YOUR ROLE

Finally, it is important to consider your own contribution to the frenemy situation. “Maybe it’s you, not them,” says Davis. “Think about your own personality blueprint and ask the same questions.”

Cohen agrees. “What are you doing to contribute to the tension between you?” he asks. “What assumptions are you making about the other person or the situation? What do you actually know? Sometimes, we impose a frenemy narrative on the other person based on our own fears or misinterpretation of their actions. Make sure that you act with integrity and don’t let your emotional reaction to this person cause you to take actions you regret.”